at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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