they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
