Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
