yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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