i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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