Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(336): View more from North Carolina

I just pynch a tree in the face

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(206): View more from Washington

My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..

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(305): View more from Florida

You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.

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(614): View more from Ohio

im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.

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(720): View more from Colorado

She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.

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(720): View more from Colorado

Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.

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