I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
