he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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