Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
