honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
