I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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