Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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