I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
