She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
