Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
