): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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