I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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