there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
