OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
