He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
