Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
