dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
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