i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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