So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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