I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
