Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
