so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
