shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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