i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
