u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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