...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Only a mothe r could love this liver
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
