what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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