If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
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