you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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