Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize