i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I didn't shave. On purpose
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
