i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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