ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
