i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
My dick has a subreddit
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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