you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
