Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
