i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize