CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
