stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize