Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
