Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
