I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
