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I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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