R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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