do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
