I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Woke up backwards on a recliner
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
