a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
