never play flip cup with pint glasses
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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