There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
