idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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