I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize