I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
