Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize