she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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