Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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