Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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