You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
