At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
