Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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