he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Let's paint friendship bongs
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
