all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
