Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
