i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
